Yet, in reality, the complete opposite is true.
Surrender is not about losing
Winners surrender all the time. The key is knowing when and how to surrender. As a wise person once said… choose your battles! It’s about having awareness of what you can change and what you cannot. When you are in a situation where you feel you are out of control, you can step back, breathe, take a moment, and be present … as that moment right there and then, is all you have.
By releasing the need to control the world and the people in it, you can do your part and simply have faith and trust the process.
It’s about knowing when it’s time to hold on and when it’s time to let go.
When you try to change others and refuse to accept life on life’s terms, you are holding onto something that isn’t yours to hold.
You don’t know what’s best for others or what their process is supposed to look like. Letting go is about accepting the things that you cannot change and having faith that as long as you focus on yourself and the things you can change, all is well.
What happens when you don’t learn how and when to surrender and let go?
You waste all your energy thinking about the things you can’t change instead of changing the things you can. You are irritable and discontent. You feel like you have been dealt a bad hand and you blame others and life for your discontentment. You are unhappy, and you cannot change it. You fill your life with all sorts of things and people to make you feel better, but it never lasts. You are manufacturing your own misery.
Marianne Williamson wrote this about surrender: “Something amazing happens when we surrender and just love. We melt into another world, a realm of power already within us. The world changes when we change. The world softens when we soften. The world loves us when we choose to love the world.”
What happens when you surrender and let go of the things you cannot change?
You are happy and free. No matter what comes your way in life, you can walk through it with grace and dignity. You trust and have faith in the process. You believe beyond a shadow of a doubt in yourself and in the universe. You take responsibility for what you can change and you know from the top of your heart that it is enough. Things just have a way of working out for you. You hit the green lights, meet the right people and are in the right place at the right time. Life is awesome.
These concepts are paradoxical, but they work. Many of the greatest minds of all time have tried to explain why they work. It doesn’t really matter what theory or philosophy you prefer. The only thing that matters is that you trust the process, do your best, have faith, believe, and let the rest go. Life will take care of the rest every time.
Previously published on Medium at https://medium.com/@helenbarry/surrendering-your-way-to-victory